Broken But Not Shattered

I'm just going to spill the truth out there: I had a nervous breakdown on Friday. Although it might have seemed like me just being my hateful self, it was my horrible attempt to bring closure to something that was tearing away at my core. I confess the fact that I am a needy person, and most of that probably stems from me sheltering myself from the world. Is it such a bad thing that my best friends are inanimate objects? I think not.

I oozed my way through the weekend as a formless blob of emotional confusion and mildly tamed my anxiety with a copy of the Transformers Movie (No matter how good the new one is, I will still love the original better). As I had described in my last post, I was still feeling depressed and found myself hardening back into the shape that I was before, but tonight might have been different. Maybe it was because of the new venue of dining, maybe it was the confirmation of my fears being unwarranted, or maybe it was the firm realization that I am in control of my life and no one else can force me into going the "mainstream" route of going to a college right after high school if I don't want to. Well, to say the least, my schedule that I had originally planned out for my senior year will change a little tomorrow. This is my life, and as long as I live it with conviction, I will never regret any decision I make now or later. The tools of true success are in front of me and whether I build a spacious mansion or a cozy cabin, I have nobody to blame but myself for not being able to see the person I truly am. Happiness is not money; it's looking in the mirror each morning and confiding three words truthfully to the familiar person in the reflection: I love you.

Other people are Hell. Hmm...I might just like it here.